Do you find that when something happens you’re not happy about you just can’t let go? Do you feel that you always need to have something to say about an issue from way in the past? These kinds of negative emotions to past events can inhibit you from leading a happy fulfilled life.
How Does Holding A Grudge Affect My Life?
If you’re constantly feeling that you can’t let go of the past or something that somebody has done how can you expect to live a normal happy life? Surely spending all of your time thinking about that other person or that event that made you annoyed or upset gets you nowhere other than letting it ruin your life even more?
I often tell clients who come to see me for emotional baggage or letting go of old issues with an ex, how does your constant thinking of them in this negative way impact their lives at all? Think about it, you spend all of your time thinking about them and what they did and have a negative view on them making your life miserable and in no way does it affect them, they’re carrying on their lives as normal pretty happy doing what they want to get done forgetting all about you. Whereas you unfortunately are sat at home dwelling in the hatred and anger hating them even more.
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why you’re still angry with that person? Can you even remember what it’s all about?
It takes up our energy to be happy but holding a grudge takes up even more of your energy, keeping up this negativity for so long can be a strenuous time on your emotions and mental health.
Holding a grudge can have an impact on your health if not dropped and forgotten after a while, the ways you could be impacted are:
- Stress – having constant negative thoughts and feelings can cause a build-up of stress within your system
- Feelings of depression or feeling down – having a constant negative outlook can also lead to feelings of depression or down in the dumps due to not being able to pick yourself up and get on with life, this can lead to you requiring help from your doctor and medication
- Appetite – with all cases where stress is a possible outcome there is a risk of your appetite being affected alongside it?
- Your own mental health – if you can’t drop an old grudge you will highly likely end up living in a constant loop of hatred and negativity which will leave you with a negative life and not wanting to do anything to help yourself.
If you think you’ve been holding a grudge for a little too long just think about how you are affecting your own life and not theirs. That person who initially offended you has completely forgotten all about it and is getting on with their lives just as you should be.
How Can I Get Over The Grudge?
If you feel that you’re ready to start letting go of those old issues and grudges now’s the time to start giving these little tips a go, make the change and rid yourself of the negativity surrounding your life.
Ok so what can you do to get over this old grudge?
- Vent – Don’t hold it in any longer, if you feel like you need to talk to somebody then do. It doesn’t have to be the person who hurt you or offended you but just somebody who can look at your situation from a different perspective than you have been.
- Write down your thoughts – writing down our thoughts and feelings during the day can help you to release your negativity make it so that in your head once you’ve written down those negative thoughts about t that person that’s it, those thoughts and feelings have now disappeared like magic out of your own mind and onto paper.
- Face The One Who Hurt You – Sometimes coming face to face with the person who is making us feel this way can really help, they may not even be aware that they did something to upset you. This will give them the opportunity to either apologise or put their case forward to you as to why they did what they did. Remember that your approach to them is important and try to do it with controlled emotions and calmly to ensure a good rapport and positive response rather than just adding fuel to the fire.
- Realize What You Are Doing To Yourself – you need to become aware if you have become trapped in bitterness that it’s not only the person who originally did this but yourself too. You must realise you cannot continue in this way if you want to be happy.
- Let Go Of Victim Mode – you need to see that you have gotten past the event that made you angry or upset and if you have decided to confront them now’s the time to let go of the victim mentality.
- Forgive – yes I know it’s easier said than done but forgiveness will make your life fuller and richer give it a go forgive and forget.
So are you ready to start these tips now? I really hope so, living a life with negative thoughts cam drag you down making it seem that the world is against you when in reality its only you against you.
Another great quote to end this post on today from Good Reads.com from Steve Maraboli it goes:
“When you hold a grudge, you want someone else’s sorrow to reflect your level of hurt but the two rarely meet”
And this is what I’ve said from the start of this post, living in constant hatred towards somebody else will only affect you. They are living their lives how they should be.